Forever has a way of changing things..

We might as well document the journey.

10,364 notes

Except when you can’t sleep, and you lie awake wondering about all the things that could have been. When I was younger I was smart for my age, quick, had tons of useless recall. I’m great at jeopardy. But some where along the way I got discouraged, and lost. I thought I had a clear path of where my life was headed but I didn’t really have a place that I felt I shined. If I knew then all of the things I know now, what would I have done differently? I would have read more, even though I was reading all the time it wasnt building me or helping me grow. I wouldn’t have given any thought to what the kids I went to HS with thought. They were dumb kids and half of them aren’t going anywhere now. Well nether am I at the moment but I’m closer than a lot of them. I would have applied to every summer program I could get ahold of and tried harder to go more places and do more things. I would have said “pick me, choose me” it might not have lasted for ever but I’ll always wonder if it could have been the best thing about that place.. I wish all the time I could go back, but I can’t keep dwelling in the past. Im tired, I’m so used to getting bailed out and I need it this time too but I’m afraid of what that looks like. I just want to go and not be stuck in this place anymore. I’m so tired.

Except when you can’t sleep, and you lie awake wondering about all the things that could have been. When I was younger I was smart for my age, quick, had tons of useless recall. I’m great at jeopardy. But some where along the way I got discouraged, and lost. I thought I had a clear path of where my life was headed but I didn’t really have a place that I felt I shined. If I knew then all of the things I know now, what would I have done differently? I would have read more, even though I was reading all the time it wasnt building me or helping me grow. I wouldn’t have given any thought to what the kids I went to HS with thought. They were dumb kids and half of them aren’t going anywhere now. Well nether am I at the moment but I’m closer than a lot of them. I would have applied to every summer program I could get ahold of and tried harder to go more places and do more things. I would have said “pick me, choose me” it might not have lasted for ever but I’ll always wonder if it could have been the best thing about that place.. I wish all the time I could go back, but I can’t keep dwelling in the past. Im tired, I’m so used to getting bailed out and I need it this time too but I’m afraid of what that looks like. I just want to go and not be stuck in this place anymore. I’m so tired.

(via cru-ush)

  1. colorful-violence reblogged this from rainonawindowpane
  2. mri77 reblogged this from im-a-barbie-girrrl
  3. im-a-barbie-girrrl reblogged this from be-y0u-tiful-forever
  4. sexyliciousdesires reblogged this from iam-valentina
  5. iam-valentina reblogged this from sensualforpollo
  6. a-remedy reblogged this from nineteen-ninety-second
  7. as-the-moon-begins reblogged this from too-much-month
  8. too-much-month reblogged this from history-is-a-lie
  9. thisonlyway14 reblogged this from mmlowe
  10. pranel-ruecambon31 reblogged this from fristine
  11. katerwauling reblogged this from cubiclerefugee
  12. allisundays reblogged this from honeyccoma
  13. lostinlabyrinth reblogged this from queenofindecision
  14. iyajake reblogged this from racqqel
  15. aquaholix reblogged this from if-love-is-all-you-had
  16. racqqel reblogged this from queenofindecision and added:
    Need some now
  17. katiedoppleganger reblogged this from if-love-is-all-you-had
  18. if-love-is-all-you-had reblogged this from queenofindecision
  19. ohsomycupoftea reblogged this from ttouchtheskies
  20. history-is-a-lie reblogged this from ttouchtheskies
  21. ttouchtheskies reblogged this from queenofindecision
  22. queenofindecision reblogged this from thegiftsoflife
  23. jaysamazingblog reblogged this from ilovfries
  24. letslovesmiledream reblogged this from thegiftsoflife
  25. douce-errance reblogged this from femme-solitaire
  26. irohsdragontea reblogged this from chambaron and added:
    At least it sure as hell helps.
  27. scrapsofdream reblogged this from lilacsnhoney
  28. xiiiaa reblogged this from ilovfries
  29. ilovfries reblogged this from awkward-mess-nemed-martina and added:
    indeed
  30. sex-sumption reblogged this from j-bilmer
  31. j-bilmer reblogged this from thepurestpeony